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Shutterstock Being too strict with your children robs them of the little joys of childhood that they can cherish for the rest of their lives. If you were raised by strict parents, you might not want your children to go through the ordeal of following your orders and would rather try out the permissive parenting style. Permissive parents are not demanding and treat their children as equals. They are against the idea of exerting control over their children and believe
in nurturing them by being emotionally supportive and responsive. Read this post as we discuss permissive parenting and the pros and cons of this parenting style. Permissive parenting, otherwise known as ‘indulgent parenting’ or ‘lenient parenting,’ is one of the parenting styles identified by Diana Baumrind
(1). Permissive parents are highly responsive towards their children’s needs and nurture their talents and personality. But they are least demanding because they have low expectations on discipline and self-regulation from their children. You can understand the concept better with a few examples. Here is how a permissive parent reacts to various typical scenarios: Example #1: You are at the grocery store, your son asks you for ice cream, despite already having two during the day. You don’t want to upset your child, so you say, “Fine, you’ve been good today, so I’ll buy you one.” Example #2: You don’t specify timings for play, study, or sleep.
Even when you know your child has to wake up early the next day for school, you don’t remind her to sleep early. Example #3: You have been saving up to buy an expensive smartphone for yourself. But your child demands a PlayStation. He would not listen to you or understand that you are longing to buy a phone. So, you prioritize his want over yours and buy whatever he wants. Example #4: You tell your teenager to study as the exams are round the corner. But she has two late night parties to attend in the next two days. You do not object to it but allow her to go and have fun, while the studies take a backseat. Example #5: “Can you wind up your toys after you are done playing? You don’t have to dear if you are tired.” So, do you belong to this type? Read on to know. Characteristics Of Permissive ParentsSome of the typical traits of permissive parents include:
When the parents are this lenient, then the children develop some easy-going traits. What are they? Permissive Parenting: Typical Traits In ChildrenChildren may love permissive parenting style as it gives them the maximum freedom without any strings attached. But it could be problematic in the long-run. Here are the traits of children raised by permissive parents:
Pros And Cons Of Permissive ParentingHere we tell you about how permissive parenting can be good as well as bad. Benefits:As this parenting style focuses on being a friend to a child rather than a parent, the parents understand their children better, and communication becomes easy as they grow old. Here are some more benefits of permissive parenting:
Drawbacks:Giving excessive leniency may have significant negative consequences. Let’s see what the drawbacks of permissive parenting are:
Since permissive parents do not want to upset their children, they give their children everything they ask for. The child does not learn the difference between needs and wants.
The drawbacks are not limited to the day-to-day schedule of the children but have a long-term effect on their psyche. Effects Of Permissive ParentingChildren love freedom, but when they misuse it or when there are no boundaries to check their behavior, the effects can be unpleasant. Here are some behavioral problems that may result from permissive parenting:
If you have been a permissive parenting but now want to change your style, then it is never too late. What Can You Do If You Are A Permissive Parent?It is time you incorporated the below strategies into your parenting style:
1. Is permissive parenting neglectful? Although permissive parenting appears beneficial, these parents may emotionally neglect their children. The laissez-faire attitude toward their children’s upbringing can make children dependent on themselves. They moreover struggle to set boundaries and limits for themselves when they grow into adults (4). 2. Is permissive parenting a gentle parenting? No. While both parenting styles sound similar, permissive parenting involves having little control over their children and less involvement in their lives. These parents give their children freedom and frequently say “no” to them. On the other hand, gentle parenting allows children to make their own decisions and exercise willingness rather than simply obeying orders. This parenting style involves parents being involved in their children’s lives and creating firm boundaries (5). Permissive parenting is when the parent is more like a friend than a parental figure. These parenting styles have only limited rules, and they tend to be very loving. They may have low demand and high responsiveness. Although parents are encouraging and supportive, a lack of rules and guidelines can cause behavioral problems in children. This may cause problems in children when their demands are not met, and they often lack discipline. Communication can be good and easy in permissive parenting, and there can be minimal conflicts. Infographic: Some Unique Parenting Methods From Around The WorldThere are also several unique parenting cultures and styles you may find specific to a country or region. Take a look at this infographic for details on the unique parenting styles of some countries. Illustration: MomJunction Design Team References:MomJunction's articles are written after analyzing the research works of expert authors and institutions. Our references consist of resources established by authorities in their respective fields. You can learn more about the authenticity of the information we present in our editorial policy.
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Kalpana Nadimpalli graduated in English Literature and Psychology. Her fascination for the corporate world made her do a Masters in Business Administration from Andhra University. Being a mother of two boys, she could naturally fit into the shoes of a writer at MomJunction. She wrote articles on new parenting and relationships. Previously, Kalpana worked as a product information specialist and... more Claudia M. Gold is a pediatrician and writer who practiced pediatrics for over 20 years and currently specializes in infant-parent mental health. She is on the faculty of the Infant-Parent Mental Health Fellowship Program at University of Massachusetts Boston, the Brazelton Institute at Boston Children’s Hospital, and the Berkshire Psychoanalytic Institute. She has written 4 books: The Power of Discord... more What are the characteristics of a permissive parent?Permissive parenting is a type of parenting style characterized by low demands with high responsiveness. Permissive parents tend to be very loving, yet provide few guidelines and rules. These parents do not expect mature behavior from their children and often seem more like a friend than a parental figure.
What effect does permissive parenting have on a child?Studies show that children of permissive parents tend to have lower academic achievement. Permissive parents do not control or regulate their children's behavior. So their children are less aware of the limits of acceptable behavior. They also exhibit worse impulse control and have more behavioral problems.
What does it mean to have permissive parents?Permissive parenting, sometimes called “indulgent parenting,” is a style of child-rearing that features two key traits: being nurturing and warm (which is good for kids), and. being reluctant to impose limits (which is problematic).
What is an example of a permissive parent?Example of Permissive Parenting
Permissive parents might make comments such as “I never say no to my child” or “my child chooses what they want to do.” Permissive parents struggle to set age appropriate boundaries and instead shift decision making to children.
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